G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

I was never a fan of the toys and cartoon as a kid. But, as a kid, I was familiar with the G.I. Joe basic story line and other goings on and what-nots. I think the caliber of the cartoon might have actually been better that this movie. the movie starts out in 1600’s France , where the villains ancestor is on trial for arms dealing. Then it cuts to the not too distant future, where the villain McCullen (Eccleston) is talking about these little nano-bot things, that seem to be ripped off directly from the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still. They consume and destroy matter, and have a potential to be a kind of super weapon. Not only that, they become a type of a cause-all end-all plot device that tries to explain all plot holes and other idiocy that is sure to ensue. When they are stolen by a mysterious and highly trained group of mercinaries, the main protagonist Duke (Tatum) joins the elite fighting force, G.I. Joe, and then the hilarity and action ensues to the predictable and rushed ending.

From the pre-view, it looks a lot like a live action version of Team America : World Police that is trying to take itself seriously. Unfortunately for this movie, that is pretty much exactly how it plays out. Only less funny; and it’s not intentional, and quite over loaded with tacky and lengthy back stories. The only redeeming factor in this movie is the action sequences. I will have to admit, they are fun. Just go for the explosions and army style gun fights. Everything else is kinda mind numbing.

All in all: An Army of what?

Lives up to the pre-views? Does it matter? Both terrible.

Stars (out of five): 2

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