Saturday, February 14, 2009

Friday the 13th

I am not a huge fan of most of the original movies. The majority of them are terrible, and the rest are barely watchable, and unintentionally humorous. The original movies reek of low budget, lack of talent and predictability. So why is Mr. Voorhees so popular then? Why even bother remaking that stuff? The answer is simple. He has made his mark as a horror icon, and deserves a movie, or movies, that will live up to the stigma he has. So, then, why the stigma? Well, it is more of ‘what is scary about Jason’ than the movies themselves scaring you. Jason Voorhees is the ugly looking possibly retarded kid who drown at Crystal Lake as a child, and has ‘returned’ (I have to use the word ‘returned’, because the ‘how’ (zombie, healing abilities, mistaken for dead) varies depending on the installment you are watching) to exact revenge on those who enter his sanctuary, and mourn the loss of his mother.

Jason, along with other zombie types, is scary because of two things. The first is that you fear his presence. His appearance, being really ugly and hiding behind the emotionless mask, is almost if not completely sub-human; and can make anyone uncomfortable. He has a towering stature that make any physical confrontation seem impossible, and the skin being dirty and almost rotten is supposed to revolt you- and does so quite well. The second thing is that he is the Big Lumbering Death, and like the story of the tortoise and the hare, he will catch up to you no matter how fast you run and kill you (even though, once again, depending on the installment you are watching he may be really slow, or quite speedy and smart).

One element is a little more complicated, and something I noticed and is probably only interesting to me. It stems from the fact that he is always killing the teenagers who are partying. I think this might make him somewhat of a contemporary version of Grendel. Take that for what you will. It makes him just that more interesting when thinking about it.

Anyways, back to the film itself. This installment, or remake- whatever, has no new input into the story. They do nothing new on the creative side, and nothing to add to the character of Jason. There is no new setting, and everything is the same as the old ones: big killer slashing his way through partying teenagers. So why see it?... Why not. Why not watch one of the most recognizable horror icons do what he does best. This time with better acting, better filmmaking, and a bigger budget and waaayyy more style and grit. Be prepared for a popcorn munching good time.

All in all: Grit & Gore Galore

Lives up to the pre-views? Sure.

Lives up to the original(s)? Yes and no.

Stars (out of five): 4


1 comment:

$teve said...

I agree. I'm always scared that when/if I finally get laid again, that I'm instantly going to be killed by a big, ugly retarded kid with a machete...if not a zombie. That is why I'm scared of Jason.

Besides, you and I both know that the only reason they make these movies is for one thing...opening weekend of over $42 million when it only cost MAYBE $2-3 million to make. That's right, not story or character development - Profit margins. :)