My Bloody Valentine 3D

The first thing I heard about this movie is that it was terrible. That it sucked. That all the acting was atrocious, and the plot was predictable, cliché and done many times before. And for the most part, that’s all true. Except there were a few scenes were the acting wasn’t all bad, and the main characters did do their best job with the script provided. The main sheriff I thought did a pretty good job, and Jamie King is always fun to watch. Even though her acting is not really academy award winning, it’s good enough, and way too good for a movie like this.

Other than the grievances above, this movie has a couple other major problems. First, not only is the plot rather run of the mill, it has far too much back story. The movie starts out ten years in the past, where a mining accident kills everyone in the mine, except for one guy, and he is in a coma. A year later, he comes out of the coma, and for some reason is now a psychopath and kills more people, and is stopped. And nine years after that (present day now), the killings mysteriously start again. It’s almost like they wanted to make the sequel more than the first installment. Or they were looking for a means, any means, to make this less boring- even if it consists of long and unnecessary back story.

The second real problem is the 3D. Not that the 3D is not cool, but it has the same issues that Beowulf fell victim to. There are too many scenes that are gimmicky, and only good with the 3D glasses. Once this is out on DVD, you will just have pointless and stretched scenes of things waiving in your face.

The 3D is the only reason I will recommend you see this movie. Even for as bas as the show is, it’s still a lot of fun. Just be prepared; if you have a weak stomach or are easily offended by nudity (there is a heavy amount in one part), this show is not for you. I would like to think that it goes without saying that given it’s a horror movie; there is a lot of gore. But this one seems to have more than the average. And all the blood, guts, mutilated corpses and violence are in 3D, so it might add a bit more to the, well, ‘icky-ness’ of the show. Leave the kids at home!

All in all: Blood Bath & Bland

Lives up to the pre-views? Sure. What else would you expect though?

Stars (out of five): 1.5

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